COLUMN: In the groove with memories of Hoov

John Hoover is the best sports writer in Oklahoma, and early in his career, he was sports editor for the Tahlequah Daily Press. Later he went to work for the Tulsa World. Lately he’s been a publisher for Sports Illustrated – exactly where, on his first day at TDP, he said he hoped to wind up.

Last week, his friends and colleagues were shocked to learn he was retiring as a full-time sports writer. On a Facebook post, “Hoov” revealed that after dealing with symptoms for years, he’d been diagnosed in 2023 with Parkinson’s Disease. In a poignant column that brought tears to many eyes, he explained what was happening and expressed gratitude to many people who had been part of his career path – including, I’m proud to say, yours truly. His column is worth reading, but I can relate a few anecdotes from the days we worked together at TDP.

We were lucky to poach Hoov in 1990 from the Okmulgee Times. We’d already snagged Bob Gibbins, and when we needed a sports editor, Bobbo suggested Hoov. I called Hoov and we talked; I’d already seen his work so I offered him the job. He mumbled, more to himself than me, “What to do, what to do.”

The “digital age” was just beginning to arrive when Hoov joined the TDP staff. People had started combining symbols to make pictures; there were no emojis. Most everyone has seen a pictogram of an owl or some other creature designed with a series of X’s and O’s on a dot-matrix printer – provided they’ve seen a dot-matrix printer. That was before a clown in a cubicle with a cathode-ray screen took the artistry off-color, and introduced bottoms and breasts. I have to explain the basic depiction of a butt as (_|_) and a pair of breasts as (*)(*). This signifies not so much a mood as a predilection to be rude.

The first person to clue me in on just how far these “picticons” could be taken was Hoov. His second or third day on the job, he handed me a printout and said, “I hope this doesn’t offend you, but I think it’s kinda funny.” (He assumed I’d be OK with it, because he’d already seen a bawdy paper titled, “Why cucumbers are better than men.”) There ensued a series of combinations of parentheses, underscores and other keyboard symbols rendering rear-ends of various ages and proportions. Two underscores instead of one put fat on the fanny with (__|__). I don’t remember breasts being taken to extremes, but clicking the spacebar a few times will give the gal a respectable augmentation ( * ) ( * ).

Hoov could relate stories in a manner like no one else. One day he regaled us with an incident that occurred at a Tahlequah High School football game. A leading local citizen was sitting in the bleachers with his wife, having a discussion with Hoov, who had just gotten engaged to his wife, Holly. The citizen – let’s call him “Ryan” – and his wife, “Deedee,” congratulated Hoov and commented: “When Deedee and I first recited our nuptials, we were convinced we’d be engaging in coitus every night; isn’t that correct, Deedee?” Deedee dutifully replied, “That’s right, Ryan.” Ryan continued: “However, that turned out not to be the case; isn’t that correct, Deedee?” and Deedee nodded and said, “That’s right, Ryan.” Only this man would use words like “nuptials” and “coitus” in everyday parlance.

Once, when the newsroom staff was at lunch, I related how, when I was a twirler for my high school marching band, we’d performed at the Tulsa State Fair. That’s the first time I saw a ride called a “Superloop” – a vertical circular track with a train that goes back and forth until it’s upside-down at the apex, before completing the circle. On this occasion, I observed what I thought was a long scarf, fluttering down from the train when it was upside-down. But when the riders dismounted, I saw what it really was: a ribbon of vomit. The victim, a girl about my age, had barf all over her face and streaked through her long hair. She had upchucked – or, as some called it, “booted” – at the moment the train was poised upside down, before returning to the launch point. After I told this story, Hoov solemnly intoned: “Bat booting.”

Hoov, being from Alaska, may have recognized a moose, but not necessarily every other animal. Once, over a period of about two weeks, Hoov and Sean Rowley, the other sports writer, kept insisting they’d seen a huge rat in the building. This had the rest of us on pins and needles. Eventually, the pressroom manager discovered what it was: a rather frightened, hissing possum that had somehow gained entry. Speaking of rodents, Hoov used to joke about having a crush on a famous model, who suddenly married an equally famous actor. The morning after the announcement of the marriage broke, Hoov stormed into the newsroom, fuming: “I can’t believe she married that... that... that GERBILER!” I won’t explain the nature of this urban legend.

Hoov is considered by most to be a mild-mannered fellow, but he’s had his moments. When he made the move to the Tulsa World and we were temporarily without a sports editor, he would come to town in the wee hours to fill in for us on page layout. One fateful morning, he strolled into the newsroom, opened the paper to the sports pages, and suddenly, his eyes began to bulge and his face turned redder than his hair. He let out a wordless scream of rage, then slammed the paper onto the floor and began to jump up and down on it. After about 20 seconds of stomping and yelling, he picked up the mangled paper, ripped it to shreds, and sent pieces flying all over the room. Finally, still whooping in fury and near hyperventilation, he barreled over to the newsroom door, and punched a hole in it. It seems the guys in the pressroom had transposed the photos on the sports page. If you look hard enough, you can still see the vestiges of the hole in the door.

I could relate the time Hoov and Holly painted the newsroom in a color they thought was a subtle mauve, but turned out to be a brilliant lavender. But I don’t have the time or the space, so I’ll leave it at this: Hoov is a man of integrity, humility, humor and almost unmatched talent. That’s why I’m convinced he will face his latest challenge with determination and class.